A mother’s CV

Curriculum vitae


Dedicated, hard-working and supremely adaptable individual seeks more credit for doing a bloody hard job seven days a week.



Leadership: skilled in growing, educating, nurturing, managing and caring for two small human beings.

Able to make tough decisions: knowing when to abort much-looked-forward-to day out in favour of (yet another) Sunday at home playing Sylvanian Families with a snotty four-year-old. Equipped to judge when the need for food in the refrigerator outweighs the desire to avoid supermarket tantrums.

Motivates team to achieve objectives: whether that be getting them to school on time five days a week, or coaxing a toddler through vaccinations.

Quick learner: went from knowing bugger all about children to being in charge of keeping one alive without any formal training.

Flexible and open-minded: able to put pre-parenting prejudices aside and use dummy/formula feeding/star charts as and when required.

Consults regularly and confidently with vital stakeholders: regular meetings with husband, GP, health visitor, teachers, dentist, grandparents, in-laws to coordinate a best-practice, holistic approach to parenting.

Problem solver: adept at handling everything from toy-sharing crises to a Sticklebrick in the eyeball; quick to tend to accidents to the home or person.

Calm under pressure: can handle even the most outrageous of tantrums from children or husband.

Negotiation skills: will occasionally give in on one more biscuit but won’t budge on twice-daily teeth cleaning.

Interpersonal skills: (mostly) able to get my point across in a calm and respectful tone.

Dedicated: always shows up, always does the job, (nearly) always does it with a smile, regardless of how much sleep, how many hours already worked, or how pissy everyone else is being.




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